Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Soap Box Thursday - Marriage



I recently read a post on a blog that I came across randomly. The main idea of the post was that women as a whole..godly women should please their husbands in all ways out of respect and duty. The post went on to back this idea up with scripture. After saying that as a woman a wife we are the one person that can meet our husbands needs she quotes:

"(And if you don't, then you're disobeying 1 Cor. 7--perhaps unintentionally, but nonetheless, still disobeying.)".


I am now stepping up on my Soap Box (lol). Hopefully you can follow my thoughts.. As a christian woman, I understand my role as a wife and mother. Do I always accomplish everything..? No. Do I try? of course. The Bible talks about the role of a woman in Proverbs 31.

10Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

11The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.

12She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

13She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

14She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

15She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

16She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

17She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

18She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

19She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

20She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

21She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

22She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

23Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

24She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.

25Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

26She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

27She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

28Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

29Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

30Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

31Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.


I think most of us women can only dream to be like the Proverbs 31 woman. In a perfect world, a husband listens to all of our chatter. Answers when appropriate. Compliments when needed. Romances. Surprises with flowers. Watches the children so we can read or go out. Cleans the kitchen when we are exhausted. And in the same world, we don't nag. We build our husbands up. We prepare meals and menus in advance. We have the house spic and span before they arrive home from work. We lay out their clothes for work. We rise up early with them in the morning to make them breakfast. We kiss them goodbye and greet them with a kiss. We take care of our bodies. We tend to the health of our family. We please our husband. This list could go on and on and on and on and on. Under the umbrella of perfection there are endless attributes. But the reality is.. we are imperfect. We can only strive to be what God wants us to be.

A husband is instructed to Love his Wife according to Ephesians 5:25. A wife is instructed to Submit to her husband according to Ephesians 5:22. Husband are to love their wives as they love their own body.

I think what bothered me most about the post I read was that it was inferred that we are to please our husband at all times physically no matter what, out of duty. That we are not to say No. I told the author of the post that I would rather be with my husband out of want, desire then out of duty. We as women know that being intimate when you don't feel like it..whether that means emotional or physically that.. is very difficult, and can be miserable!

I guess what I feel is that you need to both be working every day to have a godly marriage. But there will be times when as a woman you will not feel like "it". Are you wrong for saying "Not tonight hon"? I don't think so. Will there be times when your husband is exhausted from work he doesn't feel like "it"? Of course. So is that ok? I think the situations are one in the same. You need to be sensitive to each other. Love each other.. You can still cuddle and watch a movie.. :) The author of the post also replied to me that

"I think our culture teaches us to make a lot of excuses, but I just don't see the biblical validity for that."

I don't believe that because I am not feeling good.. or I am just "not in the mood" that I am succumbing to cultural excuse! I just believe that's how I feel and that's a fact lol

As a christian, we have the Bible to follow..its a "light unto our path". The Bible gives us instruction for every part of our lives. Marriage is beautiful. Marriage is also difficult at times, and takes work. No one is perfect.. but I think we need to be very careful in how we "tell" other people to be. When we don't know what people's situations are, yet alone what goes on in their bedroom. I believe we need to honor God in everything we do.. loving our husbands will only bring us closer. Please know that I am not trying to tell anyone how to "live". This is "my" soap box.. how "I" feel. So my intent is not to offend..but to share my feeling, as you are welcome to share yours!

Stepping down now lol
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A little about me...



It is that time again!!!! I am thinking of attempting to lose weight for the 100 millionth time. haha. This time I know it will work :)

In November of 2007, I gave birth to my second child, a C-Section. Not only did that put me back physically, but I also developed high blood pressure. I am only 29. Talk about discouraging.

I started gaining weight in highschool. Seems to have followed me everywhere. My ultimate goal is to lose 120 lbs but I'll settle for 10 right now. haha.

There is absolutely no reason why I cannot succeed in this weight loss endeavor. I have exercise equipment. I guess that means I have to use it. Also, I am going to attempt the Carbohydrates Addict Diet. I have had some success with this in the past.

So I am thinking, with putting my progress out for the world to see.. it will force me to make the right choices. Let's hope!! Feel free to comment on anything or tell your story. It's always encouraging to hear about others successes. Join me on this weight loss journey...

My Weight Progress: